It Will All Come Out In the Wash

It Will All Come Out In the Wash

The Rise and Fall of Pinky

I remember it like it was yesterday... the day I got my new iPhone.  I remember that new phone smell, combined with the vibrant and jubilant color.  It almost felt like a crime to touch it and mar it with my unworthy fingertips.  Alas, I had no choice but to prepare myself to open the perfect packaging.  I had had an iPhone before but the other one was the serious colors that everybody else already has. You know how it is when the only way to distinguish yourself from the dull masses is to purchase additional cases and hardware, but this process was not required with this phone.  No my friends, this phone was already distinguished by color.  All I had to do was take it a step further and make sure that when people looked at my pink iPhone, they would say, “Yep, that’s her alright, she’s just so far ahead of her time.” So I jumped on the Wonderful World of Wonders aka the internet, and sought out to purchase the best screen protectors and a case that not only made my phone safe from accidents, but also made it futuristic and fabulous…somewhat like me!  Once I found the perfect companions for my phone, I not so patiently waited for it to be delivered! I mean this is modern times, why does it take so many days for me to have my instant gratification?! So I passed the days by stalking my mailman, who we will call Bob, and checking my email inbox for shipping info.  By the third day, I was contemplating having a friendly talk with Bob that included: 1 overhead light, 1 chair, 1 roll of duct tape, and a ski mask with an eye patch on one side.  Miraculously, it came on the fourth day! FYI, I have a very rude mailman, he didn’t even knock on the door or ring the bell.  My son barked and I looked out the window and Bob was running down the driveway like some monster was on his trail. What gives Bob?! Anywho, I place everything on my phone and I hear it give a soft sigh of relief, because it felt so protected and treasured.  So me and Pinky had many moons together and made a lot of friends.  We also snapped a lot of memories together, always capturing that perfect moment.  The other night after having an allergic reaction to a new soap, Pinky and I, had just finished talking to an old friend.  Once the convo ended, I proceeded to douse myself in Benadryl liquid and tablets, and fell into a deep sleep, thereby forgetting to put Pinky on the side table.  The next day, while laundering the linens, I frantically start to search for Pinky and I can’t find him anywhere! Then I hear this very pronounced knocking in the washing machine, and alas I found Pinky in a watery grave.  *A moment of silence please* Pinky has gone on now, and by none other than my murderous hands! Et tu Brute, then falls Pinky! It’s been a couple of days now…after rocking slowly, back and forth, in a kind of catatonic state, I have decided that Pinky would want me to go on and find happiness with another phone.  I have started to search for a new phone, sometimes I’m happy and other times I’m crying and wanting to break things, but I quickly decide to continue forward.  As I write this, while eating a Snickers, I think of their slogan, “Don’t let hunger happen to you,” I offer this amended statement, “Don’t let Benadryl happen to you.” Or an allergic reaction to soap that leads to Benadryl, that leads to passing out and leaving your phone entangled in the sheets, that leads to those sheets getting washed…you get my point. 

In Memory of Pinky

As I come to a close, I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to read this blog.  I would say “my blog” but I feel like it’s “our” blog.  I want you to feel like you’ve just come home every time you stop by.  So by all means, come in, take your shoes off, and let’s talk for a while…

P.S.

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