Monogamous Polygamy
Monogamous Polygamy
Giving Others Control Over Your Relationship
Hey Cotton Stalkers! Today we are on dealing with the big,
bad wolf, that’s right, you know what it is…Relationships! Before you even get
into this entry, feel free to go outside and bay at the moon. Go ahead, we’ll
wait… *Elevator music softly plays in the
background* Now, that you’ve got that out of your system, you will be able
to rage along with the rest of us.
This subject has become increasingly more important to me because time seems so
fleeting and it makes me wonder if many of us have ever experienced true
happiness and the simple pleasures that can be found, when we let our guards
down and truly let someone else in. At
first I thought about writing this in relation to marriages only, but then I
thought, a lot of people aren’t married but that doesn’t exempt them from
having problems with significant others.
We as people are at the height of social connectivity and yet, for the
most part, seem to be so lonely. When
we’re in relationships, we feel like the love or affections are one-sided,
thereby leaving us with feelings of rejection, but not rejected enough to
leave, because even though we’re alone at this very moment, if we leave that
relationship then we are really alone.
We have all these various methods of communication: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Google+, Email, Tumblr, (Click the links to find me, I’m always available) and the list goes
on, yet two people can’t sit down and talk to each other face to face. These
are some of the problems we all deal with when we are talking about situations
between two people! What happens to these same relationships when we
compile said problems with everyone else’s opinions and comments about what we
should and shouldn’t do?! Yikes! Now I know a lot of times relationships don’t
work out because the parties involved are simply not compatible, but does that
mean that opposites can’t salvage some form of interaction, instead of throwing
the other person out of a window along with the pot? Has there ever been a relationship that was
tossed aside because outside influences weighed more than the involved parties
opinion? How can we listen to advice but not let it overrun our relationships
and crush our happiness? Where is that oh so fine line between “settling” and
happiness? I’ve seen personally, when
men have been ragged on by other men for asking their significant other what
their plans were before committing to some guy’s night out adventure. Other men
have made this particular man feel “less” or “hen-pecked.” Why is it that when
asking our partners about previous plans, we can’t be seen as being CONSIDERATE instead of CONTROLLING? Same thing goes for ladies,
other women will say that she lets her man control her and tell her what to do.
Can she not think: I’m no longer alone, I have to consider my partner as well?”
Don’t think this type of behavior is reserved for just friends, family can be a
culprit as well. Families can sometimes
do this unconsciously, because they have grown up around this person and aren’t
some friends they found on the playground, the ties run deeper. Parents and siblings may still want you to be
available as you were before and may feel hurt or angry when that doesn’t
happen. Whatever the situation may be,
we have to find a way to stop snuffing out our own happiness. Relationship is a self-defining word, because
it means that we will RELAY to one another, and even with this o-SHUN (ocean) of people
that surround us, we’re on this SHIP together. It feels good when
someone puts you before themselves and gives you a point of value in their
lives. Don’t be deaf to good advice, but
don’t be a crusher of your own dreams.
Live, Laugh, Love!
P.S.
If you have some topics that you would like to see
discussed, then drop us a line on facebook, a tweet on Twitter, a letter by
email, or note tied to a carrier pigeon’s foot…however you reach us, we’ll just
be glad you did. Email Me:
southernkiss@thecottondiaries.com
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