Single and Waiting

Single & Waiting

 Dating After 30

DANGER ALERT! DANGER ALERT! Incoming cliché questions coming! “When are you going to get married?” “Why aren’t you married yet?” “What are you waiting on?” Do any of these sound familiar? If your answer is yes, then please have a seat at the Round Table, because if you’ve answered these questions more than once, then you’ve earned it.  The other day my Mother and I were having a conversation about how men get married more easily than women.  My Mother said that that was just probably how it seemed, but it was probably, more likely, a closer race than I thought.  You know how they say that a few frogs in a pond can croak really loud, and it seems like everybody’s croaking right along with them? *if you haven’t heard this before, just nod your head anyway and pretend to understand* Well it means that one or two people can be harping on any particular subject and it will seem like more people are on the bandwagon with them than actually are.  So I, being the Sherlock Holmes of my generation, strictly in my own mind, struck out to find facts.  I changed my citizenship to U.K., changed my coat to a cloak, and served myself high tea (because I’m too poor for a butler), all while flaunting my superiority attitude to fit my new identity. Once I had completed my transformation into a British sleuth, I reared back and guffawed while looking down, through my monocle, on my own mother, and said, “Elementary Dear Watson, Elementary…”  I hunkered down looking for any clues that would support my claim, and prove once and for all, that men actually marry easier and quicker than women. Alas, I found some supporting and recent information, that I could substantiate my opinion on. *Notice how my vocabulary has gotten so large? Those darn Brits!* Anyway, according to Census.gov, 105 million U.S. citizens (18 and over) are unmarried, with 53% of that number being women, and to break that down to even smaller numbers, for every 100 women, there are approximately 87 men.  The male number has decreased since the 2010 census, at that time for every 100 women, there were 88 men.  You might be looking at that and saying, “well that’s only minus one (-1),” but when that number is applied to an entire country’s population, then it seems more significant.  So I guess the main question here is, “What the H. E. double hockey sticks is going on?” Where are women missing the boat?  I have tried to look at all angles here: education, financial backgrounds, ethnicity, religious affiliations, you name it, I have thought about it.  But at the end of the day, when you strip away everything else, you are still left with a man and a woman…in most cases.  I’m sure that more places can relate, but here in the South, it’s like it’s an enigma not to be married and have children by a certain age, and by a certain age means BEFORE 30! Don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of women are putting career first and everything else at a later time, but this still really doesn’t explain the huge gap because most men “sow their wild oats” for quite a while before finally settling down and choosing Mrs. Right.  Does that leave it to stand that maybe women are waiting too long for Mr. Right Now to eventually turn into Mr. Right? Are we putting all of our eggs in one basket hoping that it will all pan out in the end? Maybe some of us have been hurt one time too many and aren’t willing to go back down the rabbit hole that is sometimes called love.  Do we hold on too long, trying to prove loyalty and commitment, instead of cutting ties and taking a loss?  What about cohabitation? Are men getting too many perks without having to buy? Why buy the cow, when the milk is free-does that still apply? I watched a lot of YouTube videos by men on this one!  This one guy says that women will never “graduate” with a guy, because whatever you started out as will most likely be as far you will go- meaning if you were a one-night stand, then in his mind you probably won’t be anyone he considers marriage material.  How many of us have had an “adult slumber party” to try and win a guy’s affections? Are we being realistic- are our expectations too high? Are we expecting some Prince Charming to come save us from the cruel, cruel world? Is it possible that our “Knight in Shining Armor” may not come packaged as we thought? Why can men dismiss relationships so fast? Even though he may have really cared for you once upon a time? Why is the only time “Once Upon A Time” applies to our love life, is when we are talking about a failed relationship?  I know I have asked more questions than I have answered, but we are on this journey together, so we might as well find the mysteries of the universe together, so that when we get to the end of our diary, it will be a real page turner!

As I come to a close, I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to read this blog.  I would say “my blog” but I feel like it’s “our” blog.  I want you to feel like you’ve just come home every time you stop by.  So by all means, come in, take your shoes off, and let’s talk for a while…

P.S.

If you have some topics that you would like to see discussed, then drop us a line on facebook, a tweet on Twitter, a letter by email, or note tied to a carrier pigeon’s foot…however you reach us, we’ll just be glad you did. Email Me: southernkiss@thecottondiaries.com